Redeemer University - Christian university changes everything. Starting with you.            Shure-wireless-excellence  Shure-wireless-excellence
Skip Navigation Links
Seeking God?

Visit this room to share with your community in the family of God

Made for Each Other
Men and women are different, yet they complement one another.  It seems to be God's wish for a husband and wife to grow to adapt to one another.

In my marriage, I wreck the cars. Keith wrecks the laundry, but that doesn't cost nearly as much.

…marriage is supposed to reflect Christ's relationship with us.

Of course, Keith recently backed into a tree and shattered our van's windshield, but since this was his one and only infraction in our whole marriage, we viewed it as an aberration rather than a pattern.

Then, when he went to buy a new car this fall, he bought a standard. I can't drive a standard. So I can't drive his car. I'm still trying to figure out if there's some hidden meaning there.

Keith and I have other differences, too. Keith has the "all the lights in the house must be turned off if not needed" gene. I'm missing that one.

His idea of a relaxing afternoon is to do absolutely nothing. I like taking energetic bike rides. He likes war movies. I like Jane Austen. We're a strange pair.

And yet, what most often occurs to me is how alike we've become.

I tend to be on the shy side. Today I make my living speaking at women's events and retreats, often in front of large groups, which doesn't bother me the least. But parties, where I have to talk one-on-one are uncomfortable. It's not natural for me.

It's not natural for Keith, on the other hand, to be quiet. And as we've been married, he's taken me to so many parties that I've begun to open up. But he's also started to quiet down. Had we not married, he might have been even more gregarious, and I may have become more introspective.

Or take food. I crave sweets, but not fat or salt.

Keith, on the other hand, once drank a cup of bacon grease because someone dared him. If Keith hadn't married me, he'd likely be a lot heavier than he is right now. And I'd probably still never know how wonderful real butter makes everything taste.

Over the last I 6 years we have changed. I am not the same person who walked down that aisle, and he isn't the same one who was waiting for me, I loved him dearly then, but I love him much more deeply now. Just by being together, we change each other.

And isn't that how it should be? Think about it this way: marriage is supposed to reflect Christ's relationship with us. As Christians, when we walk with Christ we'll become more like Him. So that might happen in our marriages, too. As we walk together, we start to reflect one another.  And I think that's a beautiful thing!

But it should also be a warning to those thinking there's that one perfect person out there – that one person that God made especially for you. I don't think that's the Christian view of marriage. Rather, it's God's wish that a husband and wife would grow to adapt to one another. God made men and women differently — yet made them to complement one another. Husbands may never find the laundry hamper and wives may never appreciate the importance of "the game's on," but they can both adjust to each other and learn to value those differences.

That's why I don't think marriage is a matter of finding the perfect person as much as it is becoming the perfect couple. And the more time you spend together, the more you just might find that you're made for each other after all.

Sheila Wray Gregoire is the author of How Big is Your Umbrella:  Weathering the Storms of Life. You can sign up for her free e-zine at

To Love, Honor, and Vacuum: When You Feel More Like a Maid Than a Wife and Mother
A must read for any woman who finds herself too busy, too tired and too frustrated to enjoy and cherish the most important blessings in her life mainly her husband, her children and her Lord.

How Big Is Your Umbrella?
In this down-to-earth, practical book, author Sheila Wray Gregoire takes readers on a journey through many of her own hurts. From a broken engagement to the loss of a child, Sheila is well equipped to teach others about God's faithfulness in tough times.

Originally published in Living Light News, March/April 2008.




  • Redeemer University - Christian university changes everything. Starting with you.

Visit our Marketplace

Support the EFC ministry by using our Amazon links