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Saying Goodbye
Many times in our lives we have to say goodbye, whether it is to a departed loved one, a place we have lived, old friends or familiar routines. It’s never easy.
by Jeff Clarke

Saying goodbye has always been difficult, and the burden of that particular Sunday in mid-July was no exception. I remember the event as though it were yesterday, and the emotions associated with it linger vividly in my heart and mind. I was relatively new in the faith, and this was my first real experience with death.

After all, it was His calling…. I had to go. I was off, and it was difficult to say goodbye.

I was busy preparing for the morning church service when the telephone rang. My father informed me that my grandfather, who had recently experienced several medical complications, had just passed away.

The events of the days that followed were difficult. Family members from across the country began arriving at the airport in sporadic fashion, and it seemed like it was all a dream. I spent several hours with Grandfather at the funeral home. Although I accepted the reality of his death, for some reason I had expressed little grief, unlike some other family members.

During a family visit, I requested to be the one to close the casket for the final time. A strange request, but I wanted to do it. As I placed my small Bible underneath his hands, his body began to sink lower into the casket. Then, with the Director’s assistance, the lid was closed and sealed tightly. It was over, and it was very difficult to say goodbye.

I was leaving the comfort and familiarity of rural Newfoundland to pursue theological education in Ontario. I had to leave much behind, and my future quickly became unpredictable. I could partly sympathize with Abraham as I left my home for a strange new land, somewhere I had never been before. What would I find there? Who would I meet? Was I right to leave, or was I making a drastic mistake? Nevertheless, I knew I was not entirely alone. I had the confident assurance that the Lord was with me and that His providential care would guide my every step from that day forward. After all, it was His calling, however subjective it may have been, that caused me to go in the first place. In a sense, I had to go. I was off, and it was difficult to say goodbye.

Graduation day! Four years of intense study and I had finally reached my goal. My parents arrived from Newfoundland just prior to the ceremony, and other family members were in attendance. Throughout the ceremony, many emotions flooded my heart.

Where did the time go? The long nights of study, exam preparation and essays had come to an end. My friends were seated around me; a thousand or so people were seated in the auditorium. The entire college stood to their feet and concluded the evening with Handel’s Hallelujah Chorus. We walked off the platform at Queensway Cathedral, and it was all over. It was difficult to say goodbye.

My first pastorate proved to be a very positive learning experience, even in the challenging moments. The opportunity to establish and build relationships with the members of the congregation, and surrounding community, was the highlight of the whole experience. I also enjoyed the many teaching opportunities and associated pastoral responsibilities such as visitation.

However, even in the midst of the enjoyment, I felt the tug of the Spirit to pursue other forms of Christian ministry. After many conversations with family and close friends, I decided that I would resign as the Assistant Pastor, accepting an administrative position at McMaster Divinity College a few weeks afterwards. Our final Sunday at the church concluded with a dinner, gifts, hugs and some tears. It was difficult to say goodbye.

Saying goodbye has always been difficult. In fact, Scripture contains numerous occasions of similar precedence. The reality of death and Abraham leaving his home to travel to a faraway land are two of the many occasions when it was difficult to say goodbye. However, what remains true on these and other occasions is the reality of God’s plan and love for those involved. He has promised to never leave or forsake us, and that nothing will be able to separate us from His love. With confidence and faith in God, we can have the strength to say goodbye. Goodbye may signify the closing of one door, but another will open for us. As potent as the ending may be, it should never eclipse the power of the beginning that awaits us.

We can cry with hope and say goodbye with hope, because we know that our goodbye is not the end.

*Dedicated to my grandmother, Mamie Pollett, who passed away on December 11, 2007.

Jeff Clarke, an ordained minister with the Pentecostal Assemblies of Canada, is the Director of Admissions at McMaster Divinity College, Hamilton, Ontario.

Originally published in Good Tidings, March/April 2008.